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For Episode #46 we Walk Like A Man then we “fasten our seatbelts”…

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Hello HYSTO-philes! We are back with #46, and this time around we have every intention of  sharing some film treasures. But, then again, you know which road is paved with those proverbial “good intentions”…

Thank you, Bette…

We start off with Paul’s choice for me, the 1996 Barry Levinson film Sleepers, starring a galaxy of A-list actors. That can be a blessing or a curse, though…

Brad Pitt and Dustin Hoffman lawyer-ing it up in “Sleepers”…

Since it deals with child abuse, this is anything but a cheerful film. But is it a treasure, or did it torture me? You know there’s only one way to find out…

Next up is my FAVORITE MOVIE OF ALL TIME!  It’s the 1950 hit All About Eve starring the inimitable Bette Davis…

Wow! She really DOES have Bette Davis eyes…

It’s one of the most quotable films ever made (“Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night.” HELLO? BEST MOVIE QUOTE EVER!). As far as I’m concerned, they don’t make them any better than this, but if you want to find out how Paul feels about this one you’ll have to get it straight from the horse’s mouth. My lips are sealed!

We also talk about what we’ve been watching lately, and we announce our picks for #47 as well. It’s a super-sized episode of dramatic proportions!

Won’t you join us?

Jay

Sleepers – 1996 – directed by Barry Levinson

 

All About Eve – 1950 – directed by Joseph L. Mankiewicz
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#45 IS HERE, AND WE’RE JUST TRYING TO STAY ALIVE THROUGH THE CINEMA TORTURE!

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Getting ready to party…

Welcome back, HYSTOphiles! We are back with #45, and all I can say is THE TORTURE CONTINUES! We are doing our best to make sure the other guy is hurting BIG TIME. Who did the most damage? Let’s take a look…

First up is my choice for Paul, the 1983 sequel to Saturday Night Fever known as Staying Alive, written and directed by none other than Sylvester Stallone.

The true Dream Team. If you’re talking nightmares, that is…

This movie cracked me up back when it came out, but the real question is how did Paul feel about it? Did it entertain him the way a bad movie can, or did it make him want to blow his brains out rather than keep watching?

Yo, Adrian! Sly says I’m a dancer!

Then we get to Paul’s pick for me. He knows I HATE Adam Sandler movies, so of course he chose Billy Madison from 1995. He’s threatened me with this one before, but I dodged the bullet. I wasn’t able to this time…

Yes, Adam. I know. You’re about to let me have it…

Also, since it’s #45, we have Paul Park Figures to share, and this time around there is a big change-up! To find out about that, and what we’re covering next time around in #46, you’re just going to have to listen in! Hey, it’s a Movie Torturama!

Won’t you join us?

Jay

Staying Alive – 1983

 

Billy Madison – 1995

 

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The Torture Continues in Episode #44!

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Hello Hystophiles! Episode #44 is here and we are STILL bringing the pain down on each other. There’s no mystery or drama this time around: we both fully intended to inflict cinema torture on each other…and we succeeded!

First up is Paul’s maniacal movie, The Fan. Another baseball flick. Sigh.

It stars Robert DeNiro and Wesley Snipes, along with a whole slew of really good actors. How they all ended up in this turd of a movie is beyond me…

“You think it’s too late to just pull out of this turkey?”

After that we continue to suffer as I make Paul watch Troll 2.  If you think The Room is a bad movie you ain’t seen nothing yet…

Ok. I have to admit this cast is not quite as good looking as the cast of The Fan…

Of course we also talk about what we’ve been watching lately, and we announce our picks for the next time around in Episode #45…

Won’t you join us?

Jay

The Fan – 1996

 

Troll 2 – 1990

 

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HYSTO? #43 is here and it’s a MOVIE TORTURE EXTRAVAGANZA!

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Welcome HYSTO-philes! Episode #43 is here, and this time we are out for movie-torture blood! Paul and I have made a vow to bring the pain in the biggest way ever! First up is my choice for Paul, the Village People “biopic” Can’t Stop The Music…

Oh yeah: it’s a new low for HYSTO?…

Yes! one of the three classic musicals from the year 1980! The Perfect Trifecta: Xanadu, The Apple, and…this! Now Paul will have seen all three! Yeah, he may not live through this, but look how the people who actually made the movie were affected by making this movie…

Village People (with Valerie Perrine) during the making of “Can’t Stop The Music” and…
…Village People AFTER making Can’t Stop The Music…

This movie was directed by Nancy Walker. That’s right. Rhoda’s mother directed this movie…

Nancy Walker before directing “Can’t Stop The Music” and…

 

…Nancy Walker AFTER directing “Can’t Stop The Music”…

The movie also starred Valerie Perrine, Bruce Jenner, and Steve Guttenberg…

Steve Guttenberg before making “Can’t Stop The Music” and…
…Steve Guttenberg AFTER making Can’t Stop The Music…

After that we discuss Paul’s method of torture for me which is Major League 3: Back to the Minors. You know that when even I have heard about what a stinker sports-themed-movie this is, it MUST be bad…

This IS a baseball movie, right?

I must admit that this movie stars some actors that I actually, really like. Like Scott Bakula and Dennis Haysbert and BUT REALLY???????

Again, this IS a baseball movie, right?

I can tell you right now that one of us got burned worse than the other, but…who was it? You know there’s only one way to find out…

Won’t you join us?

Jay

Can’t Stop The Music – 1980

 

Major League 3: Back To The Minors – 1998

 

 

 

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In a Very Staunch and Very Special 42nd Episode, Paul and I (and his mom Teri) get real…

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“It’s very difficult to keep the line between the present and the past.”

Hello HYSTO friends! We are back and with Episode #42, which is our very first episode dedicated to documentary films. We also welcome our super-staunch and beloved special guest Teri Castagne (who just happens to be Paul’s mom).

Our first doc to discuss is the jazz-themed bio Chasing Trane: The John Coltrane Documentary. In case you didn’t understand from the title, this is a documentary about John Coltrane. Paul is a passionate jazz fan, so this was a no-brainer for him. I am not really a true jazz fan. Did I like it? You’ll have to listen to see.

The one and only Mr. John Coltrane.

After that Paul and Teri and I talk about the seminal 1975 film Grey Gardens. Teri and I have seen this film many times, but this is Paul’s first time to sit down for a visit with the Beales of Grey Gardens. Was he “staunch” enough to make it through the whole movie? You know how to find out…

Little Edie Beale at one of her more revealing moments…

Of course we talk about what’s entertaining us lately, and we also announce that we are DEFINITELY  trying to torture each other the next time around in Episode #43, and I think you’ll see that our picks bear that out!

Won’t you join us?

Jay

Chasing Trane: The John Coltrane Documentary – 2016

 

Grey Gardens – 1975

 

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Dreamland gets scary and Jamaica gets icy in Episode #41!!!

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Time to relax with Episode #41…

Hello everyone! It’s HYSTO? Episode #41! We’ve managed to, yet again, find two extremely different movies to expose each other to. and we start off with my pick for Paul…

A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984) by Wes Craven. Even though Paul dressed up like Freddy for Halloween as a child, he’s actually never seen the movie!

Looking good, Paul!

Then Paul sends me to Jamaica to experience the Disney flick Cool Runnings (1993). I completely remember when the Jamaican bobsled team was such a sensation at the Olympics, but I managed to never see this thing…until now.

That’s a lot of spandex. Are you sure they aren’t ice skaters?

This is the THIRD Disney sports-themed movie Paul has made me watch since we started. Did he torture me? You’ll have to tune in to find out.

We also discuss what’s been keeping us entertained (or not) lately, and we announce what films we’ve chosen for Episode #42.

Won’t you join us?

Jay

A Nightmare On Elm Street – 1984
Cool Runnings – 1984

 

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Mallrats, Shadows, AND Eternal Sunshine: Episode #40 is a Triple Feature you won’t forget!

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Let the music commence! Episode #40 is here!

Hello HYSTO friends! We’re back with a vengeance this time around for #40. Join Paul and I as we welcome our special guest all the way from New York, Chris Saccenti!

aWe start off talking about Paul’s choice: Mallrats (1995) directed by that big baby Kevin Smith (can you guess how I feel about him?). The words “stink” and “palm” will forever have a different meaning for me…

I’ll never be able to unsee this. Thanks a lot, Paul…

After that we hit up my choice, What We Do In The Shadows (2014) directed by New Zealanders Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi. This is truly one of the most original vampire films I’ve seen in a long, long time. Chris has also already seen it, as he’s already see all three of our movies this time around. Of course the big question is what will Paul think of all this supernatural madness?

What did YOU do last Saturday night?

Finally we tackle Chris’ pick, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) directed by Michel Gondry and written by Charlie Kaufman. I’ve heard about and wanted to see this movie for years, but somehow have not seen it until now, and this was Paul’s first ride also. What did we think? Did we agree? You’ll have to listen to find out…

Babe? I just had the best idea on how to redecorate the bedroom…

As if that all wasn’t enough we also have Paul sharing his Paul Park Figures (hint: it’s getting VERY competitive) and we each rank each other’s last ten movies (which yields a few surprises). Oh, we also announce our picks for the next episode.

Won’t you join us?

Jay

Mallrats -
Mallrats – 1995 – Kevin “Butt-Hurt” Smith
What We Do In The Shadows – 2014 – Jemaine Clement & Taika Waititi
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind – 2004 – Michel Gondry
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Episode #39 is “So Big” it’s “Giant”…

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Lobby card for “Giant” featuring James Dean (1956)

Hello HYSTO friends! We’re back with Episode #39, and it’s so, so, “So Big” it’s “Giant!”

Our first movie of interest is “South Central” starring Glenn Plummer (of “Showgirls” fame) and Christian Coleman as his son “Jimmie”…

 

“And the award for worst performance in a movie by a child actor goes to….”

Next, we visit the 1956 classic “Giant” starring Rock Hudson, Elizabeth Taylor, and James Dean. It’s based on the novel by Edna Ferber, who also wrote “Cimmaron” and “So Big“…

What do you mean “real people” don’t look like this…

We also discuss what’s up for our next episode (#40!), what we’ve been consuming video-wise, and, of course, we somehow manage to bring up The Room again…

Won’t you join us?

Jay

South Central – 1992
Giant – 1956
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Episode #38, where one film might have you wishing the makers were “Dead By Dawn”…

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“Groovy”

Hello HYSTO friends! We think you’ll want to tune in to hear HYSTO? #38 because we are covering the oh-so-famous horror mainstay Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn (1987) directed by Sam Raimi.

“Gather ’round kids and I’ll read you a lovely story from this terrifying book covered in human flesh…”

Paul had no idea what was in store for him with this one, and if you want to know if the Deadites “skeeved” him out, well, you’ll just have to listen in…

Either he’s been possessed by a demon or he just watched Vince Vaughn’s performance in our next movie…

Next it’s Paul’s choice: Made (2001), written and directed by Jon Favreau and featuring one of the most amazingly annoying performances in cinema history…

Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn applying to the Witness Protection Program after the release of “Made”…

Along with all this fun we also announce what movies we’ll be covering next time, and we once again find a reason to talk about The Room.

Won’t you join us?

Jay

Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn – 1987

 

Made – 2001

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Time Travel and Swayze in a Mullet…What More Could You Want in Episode #37???

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Hello HYSTO friends, and happy new year! We are starting off the year with more testosterone that you can shake a stick at and more bad 80’s fair than you may be able to stand…

See? Can’t you smell the hair product?

As you can see from the photo above, Paul chose Road House from 1989. Did I like it? You can probably already guess what my reaction was. Actually I do love Sam Elliott, though not so much in the long hair. Oh well, as long as it’s not in a ponytail…

NO, SAM! DON’T! NO! 

My choice this time is the Spanish film Timecrimes from 2007. It’s a film I think everyone should take a look at…

Hey, if that helps you see the screen better, more power to you…

We also talk about what we’ve been enjoying lately, Paul obsesses some more over The Room, and we announce our film choices for episode #39!

Won’t you join us?

Jay

Road House – 1989
Timecrimes – 2007