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HYSTO? #17 is our tribute to Bill Paxton

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Mr. Bill Paxton 1955-2017

As you all know, we lost Bill Paxton this year.  In honor of his extraordinary career we want to pay tribute to him and talk about three very different performances (out of so many) that Mr. Paxton left for us to enjoy.

Even though we’ve both seen it, we just had to include True Lies (1994) in this show because he’s just so damned good in it.  And we both want an excuse to watch it again.  We said we would break our own rules, didn’t we?

Would you buy a used car from this man?

Paul has chosen a baseball movie (ANOTHER ONE) starring Jon Hamm called Million Dollar Arm (2014) in which Bill plays Tom House, who is a real person according to Paul.  Of course I have no idea who he is, but Paul swears by Bill’s performance, so I’m taking his word on this one.

Nope. Still no idea who he is supposed to be…

My choice for Paul is the horror film (ANOTHER ONE) Frailty (2001) starring Matthew McConaughey and directed by…Bill Paxton.  This one has been on my short list for Paul since day one, so the choice was a simple one.  This movie is truly dark, and Paxton’s performance is absolutely haunting.  PLUS there’s lots of skeevy moments where I get to torture Paul, so it’s a win all the way around…

Paxton and his Frailty co-star, Otis…

…so please join us as we pay our respects to a great actor, a talented director, and the only man to have been killed by a Terminator, an Alien, and a Predator.

Jay

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Episode #16 says it’s killin’ me, Smalls…it’s also killing a few men in Japan…

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Hello, friends!  Episode #16 is finally here, and in it we cover two of the most disparate films you could ever think of: The Sandlot from 1993, and Audition from 1999.

Such a tasteful and refined young woman. What could go wrong?

I always knew at some point I would make Paul watch  Audition, but the person who really wanted to torture Paul with this horror classic is my husband Rick, so he gets full credit on this one.  And Paul lived to tell about it…

Meanwhile I had to watch another sports movie, and you know how excited that makes me…

You’re telling me there’s ANOTHER baseball movie next time??? NOOOOOOO!!!!

So gather the kiddies around your smart phone (not really) while you listen to us tear apart two movies that simply COULD NOT be more different.  Also: we announce our movie picks for Episode #17, which will be a special tribute episode.  Who are we saluting?  You’ll have to tune in to find out…

Enjoy!

Jay

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Episode #16 just may feature the worst cinema torture yet…

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Hello friends!  We usually record our show on the weekend and I post it by Sunday night, but we had some scheduling issues this time around, so we will be posting a few days later.

I really hope you all can join us, because I can honestly say that this may be my WORST CINEMA TORTURE EVER inflicted on Paul.  I’m talking about the Japanese horror classic Audition (1999 – Takashi Miike).  If you have even heard of this movie you know that Paul is in for an adventure he won’t forget…

“Hey everyone! Let’s play Audition! I’ll get the piano wire…”

My assignment from Paul was to watch the 1993 film The Sandlot directed by David M. Evans.  I watched this the film for the first time a couple days ago, and I have a (sand) lot to say about it.  (Rim shot!)

I can’t look at this picture without hearing the Bee Gees sing “Staying Alive”…

All this, PLUS we’ll be announcing our picks for the next episode.  I have a feeling Paul is going to come at me with guns a’blazing, so you won’t want to miss the fun!

Jay

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Episode #15 aka Jay and Jennifer make Paul watch chick flicks…

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Paulette Goddard, Mary Boland, and Norma Shearer in “The Women” – 1939

CHEERS!  Welcome to episode #15!  This is one that Paul barely survived…so you won’t want to miss it!

First we talk about Beautiful Girls from 1996.  This movie was recommended to us by friend-of-the-podcast Jennifer Hamrick, who joins us to discuss this awkward, uncomfortable movie.  No kidding: this one had Paul and I both squirming…

Dude! She’s 13! really? SO UNCOMFORTABLE…

Next we discuss the 1939 classic The Women, and Jennifer joins in on this one as well.  This is a movie that’s very near and dear to me, and I just thought it might drive Paul over the high-fashion edge…you’ll have to listen to find out!

Nails: Jungle Red. Brain: washed and drying…

Lastly Paul and I give our thoughts on the Top Gun spoof movie Hot Shots! from 1991.  Do we think this Airplane! prodigy still stands up today?  Oh, come on: just pretend like you care…

Nope.  Nothing will wipe this movie from your memory…

Also in this episode: Paul Park Figures!  Paul and I have been neck and neck pretty much since we started this thing; will I still eke out a lead?  Again: TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!

Until next time, you hot shots,

Jay

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Episode #15 has Beautiful Girls, fashionable Women, and…Charlie Sheen???

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Hello friends!  You won’t want to miss HYSTO? #15 when we discuss the Top Gun spoof Hot Shots! (1991), the George Cukor classic The Women (1939), and the film Beautiful Girls (1996).  Joining us to discuss Beautiful Girls is friend-of-the-podcast Jennifer Hamrick!  You won’t want to miss this chance to listen as Jennifer and I make Paul discuss the hotness of Matt Dillon…

“Beautiful Girls” 1996

 

“The Women” 1939

 

“Hot Shots!” 1991

Episode #15 is coming soon!  Meanwhile don’t miss Episode #14 (Friday the 13th & The Program)…

TTYL!

Jay

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Get with “The Program” and listen to Episode #14!!!

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We’re back with Episode #14! And, in honor of recording during Superbowl weekend, Paul made me watch The Program from 1993, which (among many other sports-movie things) tries to show us the tragic effects of steroid abuse…

Apparently steroid abuse ALSO causes makeup abuse…

…AND I finally made Paul watch the original 1980 classic Friday the 13th!!!…which he watched through his fingers while he waited Jason to show up the whole time.

“I’m waiting for Jason too, Paul…”

We hope you’ll join us for the fun as we discuss these incredibly disparate films, and then announce what cinematic cyanide we’ve assigned each other for next time!

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

Jay

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Episode #13 is The Whole Van Damme Enchilada!

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Hello friends!  I’m happy to report that I survived watching three, that’s right, THREE Jean-Claude Van Damme movies for this epic Van Damme episode, and, yes, this whole thing was Paul’s idea (like you had to ask).

That moment when you realize you have to watch THREE Van Damme movies…

We had many, many films to choose from, but the ones we ended up with were, in chronological order, Bloodsport, Lionheart, and Timecop. Please join me, Paul, and our special guest and good friend Keith Karseno as we discuss these cinematic masterpieces and I try to remember which movie is which…

“Lioncop? Timeheart? Beats me…”

As always we also talk about what we’ve been watching lately (I’m obsessed with The Neon Demon right now…) AND we announce what films we’ll dissect for episode #14.  Come on along: you’ll have a Van Damme good time!

Jay

#thevandammeddontcry

“Bloodsport” 1988
“Lionheart” 1990
“Timecop” 1994
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Celebrate the New Year with Episode #12, but Don’t Be A Menace!!!

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Happy new year, everyone!  Paul and I welcomed the year by doing our favorite thing…making each other watch movies!  Paul assigned me “Don’t Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood” and I finally popped Paul’s Dario Argento cherry with the classic giallo “Deep Red” (aka “Profondo Rosso”).  We’ve got black-leather-glove-clad killers and rude African-American stereotypes galore, so won’t you join us? If you do you’ll also hear about our next episode, #13, which is guaranteed to Van Damme us all to hell (pun intended).  Also: listen as I accuse Paul of trying to break up with me.  Ciao!

#HYSTO #haveyouseenthisone #jayandpaul #DontBeAMenace #DeepRed

French title for “Don’t Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood” 1996
“Profondo Rosso” (“Deep Red”) – 1975
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Happy New Year! Get ready for HYSTO#12 – the first of 2017!

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Hey everyone!  HYSTO? wishes you a very happy new year, and we also want to warn you about announce what movies will be under our microscope for Episode #12!  I have chosen to FINALLY expose Paul to one of my favorite directors: Dario Argento.  I chose one of Argento’s most beloved gialli, Profondo Rosso (Deep Red), from 1975.  Paul’s pick for me to watch is 1996’s Don’t Be A Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood; definitely the longest title of any film we have discussed thus far.  (Hopefully after I watch it I can say more about it than that.)

Look for us to post #12 around January 9th!  Until then, everyone have a safe and semi-sane new year! See you in ’17!

Don’t Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood – 1996
Deep Red (Profondo Rosso) – 1975
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Episode #11 is our Christmas Episode Internationale!

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Hello all, and welcome to our Christmas Episode Internationale!  We only talk about one Christmas movie, but all the movies are from other countries (and I got a taste of French cooking, to boot).  Paul and I discuss my choice, from Finland, “Rare Exports,” then Paul and I mull over “Das Experiment,” his pick from Germany.  After that we welcome our guest Melissa McDowell (from the website “Eat The Word in 52 Weeks” @ eat52weeks.com, check it out…) and we all talk about the fan-fest that is “Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie,” which is from Britain, natch (Melissa and I are huge fans).  I surprise Paul and Melissa with a quiz, and we also announce our choices for the first movies we watch in 2017.  You also don’t want to miss Paul’s TERRIBLE German accent, or the excitement that ensues when I have to pause the recording (for the first time ever) because of a JAIL BREAK!  Hope you can join us for the fun, AND I hope you all have a happy and safe holiday season!

Love and peace and movies,

Jay

Jay & Paul, only, because Jay forgot to take a picture before Melissa left.  No; I didn’t push her into The Thames: ABFAB REFERENCE!!!  Paul says his Mets hat has significance.  He’s the baseball wiz; I’m taking his word for it…

 

“Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale” – 2010 – from Finland

 

“Das Experiment” – 2001 – from Germany

 

“Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie” – 2016 – from Britain, sweetie darling