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#45 IS HERE, AND WE’RE JUST TRYING TO STAY ALIVE THROUGH THE CINEMA TORTURE!

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Getting ready to party…

Welcome back, HYSTOphiles! We are back with #45, and all I can say is THE TORTURE CONTINUES! We are doing our best to make sure the other guy is hurting BIG TIME. Who did the most damage? Let’s take a look…

First up is my choice for Paul, the 1983 sequel to Saturday Night Fever known as Staying Alive, written and directed by none other than Sylvester Stallone.

The true Dream Team. If you’re talking nightmares, that is…

This movie cracked me up back when it came out, but the real question is how did Paul feel about it? Did it entertain him the way a bad movie can, or did it make him want to blow his brains out rather than keep watching?

Yo, Adrian! Sly says I’m a dancer!

Then we get to Paul’s pick for me. He knows I HATE Adam Sandler movies, so of course he chose Billy Madison from 1995. He’s threatened me with this one before, but I dodged the bullet. I wasn’t able to this time…

Yes, Adam. I know. You’re about to let me have it…

Also, since it’s #45, we have Paul Park Figures to share, and this time around there is a big change-up! To find out about that, and what we’re covering next time around in #46, you’re just going to have to listen in! Hey, it’s a Movie Torturama!

Won’t you join us?

Jay

Staying Alive – 1983

 

Billy Madison – 1995

 

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The Torture Continues in Episode #44!

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Hello Hystophiles! Episode #44 is here and we are STILL bringing the pain down on each other. There’s no mystery or drama this time around: we both fully intended to inflict cinema torture on each other…and we succeeded!

First up is Paul’s maniacal movie, The Fan. Another baseball flick. Sigh.

It stars Robert DeNiro and Wesley Snipes, along with a whole slew of really good actors. How they all ended up in this turd of a movie is beyond me…

“You think it’s too late to just pull out of this turkey?”

After that we continue to suffer as I make Paul watch Troll 2.  If you think The Room is a bad movie you ain’t seen nothing yet…

Ok. I have to admit this cast is not quite as good looking as the cast of The Fan…

Of course we also talk about what we’ve been watching lately, and we announce our picks for the next time around in Episode #45…

Won’t you join us?

Jay

The Fan – 1996

 

Troll 2 – 1990

 

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HYSTO? #43 is here and it’s a MOVIE TORTURE EXTRAVAGANZA!

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Welcome HYSTO-philes! Episode #43 is here, and this time we are out for movie-torture blood! Paul and I have made a vow to bring the pain in the biggest way ever! First up is my choice for Paul, the Village People “biopic” Can’t Stop The Music…

Oh yeah: it’s a new low for HYSTO?…

Yes! one of the three classic musicals from the year 1980! The Perfect Trifecta: Xanadu, The Apple, and…this! Now Paul will have seen all three! Yeah, he may not live through this, but look how the people who actually made the movie were affected by making this movie…

Village People (with Valerie Perrine) during the making of “Can’t Stop The Music” and…
…Village People AFTER making Can’t Stop The Music…

This movie was directed by Nancy Walker. That’s right. Rhoda’s mother directed this movie…

Nancy Walker before directing “Can’t Stop The Music” and…

 

…Nancy Walker AFTER directing “Can’t Stop The Music”…

The movie also starred Valerie Perrine, Bruce Jenner, and Steve Guttenberg…

Steve Guttenberg before making “Can’t Stop The Music” and…
…Steve Guttenberg AFTER making Can’t Stop The Music…

After that we discuss Paul’s method of torture for me which is Major League 3: Back to the Minors. You know that when even I have heard about what a stinker sports-themed-movie this is, it MUST be bad…

This IS a baseball movie, right?

I must admit that this movie stars some actors that I actually, really like. Like Scott Bakula and Dennis Haysbert and BUT REALLY???????

Again, this IS a baseball movie, right?

I can tell you right now that one of us got burned worse than the other, but…who was it? You know there’s only one way to find out…

Won’t you join us?

Jay

Can’t Stop The Music – 1980

 

Major League 3: Back To The Minors – 1998